The WWE Network turned up a gem: HBK vs. the Undertaker at Wrestlemania 25 in 2008, smack in the middle of the epoch when I lost track of wrestling. We didn’t even have cable for a while there. HBK came down from above surrounded by heavenly white pyro and choir of angels music, exquisitely dressed in a white western outfit looking at first like a flamboyant man of God and then perhaps like God himself.…
The Spectacle of Excess Posts
A markish confession: the biggest reason I’ll never turn on John Cena is his entrance music. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a vaguely ethnic-sounding intro with a hook featuring horns. The trilling guy who says something in Spanish I can’t quite catch is pretty rousing as well. So the trilling guy and the horns do their thing, and I’m all primed to be excited about whoever comes out on stage. I will…
I see a rather interesting place that this could go — John Cena finds himself in a quandary. He will somehow be in a position “to play the role of hero while everything around him burns,” as Bray Wyatt described him, and what will be burning is Roman Reigns. Will he sacrifice the belt or let Roman Reigns burn? The answer to this question will determine the next step for his character. If he doesn’t…
Though of course I was cheering for Roman Reigns, I’ve decided I do support a John Cena championship at this time. I wholeheartedly support the tweening of John Cena. This is rather unique — Hulk Hogan, if you will remember, turned heel when his fans were getting sick of him. And his whole complaint, if I remember correctly, was that his fans were turning on him, so screw them. John Cena, on the other hand,…
There’s something wonderful about Sandow dressed as Abraham Lincoln losing to Big E. Very postmodern. Such a complex irony to unravel. Quoth Lana: “You foolish American. Don’t you know that pride cometh before the fall?” She speaks hard-luck wisdom to us in the guise of a mean girl heel. Really, she’s offering tough post-Soviet love. I gush: Roman Reigns, entering not from the stage, but through the audience. And Dean Ambrose, too, and the Shield…
One of the most exhilarating types in wrestling to watch is He Who Cannot Be Kept Down. The Comeback Kid, we might call him. We now have this in Roman Reigns. We’ve needed one of these for a long time. Not Daniel Bryan — he is the underdog. We need the persecuted hero who always prevails in the end. These are difficult times, aren’t they? We’re prone to following false prophets, like Bray Wyatt. We…
I think many wrestling fans who were watching that night more than a decade ago remember when Brock Lesnar said “Where’s Funaki?” It became something of a cult meme, and that was back when only the most effete intellectuals I knew were calling things memes. Why was this tiny moment so memorable to us? Brock Lesnar was so scary when he debuted! He was a snarling, teeth-gnashing, bicep-flexing meat-headed monster, a goon who would beat…
The following notes I composed before having a chance to watch Payback. I just can’t keep up with all of this archetyp-y goodness. It will be interesting to see if my thoughts are still relevant after the big showdown. John Cena: man of the people, street poet, ever a baby face, literally and figuratively. Up until now, I’ve never had much to say about him. I don’t dislike the man; populist folk heroes just aren’t…