I had never been to a Comic Con before. In middle school and high school, I was more into wrestling, sci-fi, and Tolkien-style D&D role playing than superheroes. My interests during those years always followed the “The Hero’s Journey” archetype.
I had, however, been to Gen Con decades ago in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Gen Con is all about tabletop gaming. It was such a rush to meet my TV inspirations from Star Trek, such as Majel Barrett and Lou Ferrigno, along with some of the shows’ writers.
When I met Lou I was wearing my clerical collar, and he asked if it was real or a cosplay. When I told him I was a an actual priest from a legit diocese, he said, Good morning, Father. I replied: Good morning, Louis. I’ve never heard him called Louis before, but the clerics of my youth always called people by the baptismal form of their names.
I bought Lou’s book and got it signed. He made a comment that I looked too good to be celibate. How right he was back then! Fast forward to the present, when I donned my Honorary Uce Sami Zayn T-shirt and borrowed my wife’s cute ute for ease of parking downtown when I headed for the Anchorage Denaina Center, where the event was being held.
At Arctic Comic Con in May, 2023, I had budgeted enough time away from family obligations that I was able to meet Lisa Marie Varon, better known as Victoria in WWE and Tara in TNA. Lisa Marie had a booth amongst the comic book artists, the Star War’s 501st non-profit, a handful of 80’s child stars and fantasy-genre vendors, and the obligatory Anchorage Police Department recruitment stand. She was one of the featured guests at the event, with her own signing booth and panel session. I got the chance to speak with her, hear her story, and take a photo. If I’m getting a photo taken, I usually ask for a pose with my hands behind my back in the side headlock reminiscent of a Jerry Lawler–Andy Kaufman match:
I told Lisa she smelled nicer than Terry Funk, who I once took a photo with. Lisa replied that I smelled nicer than the under-armor clad fans she usually meets and greets.
After we took the picture, she shared with me how her personal life was going. She told me that, while the wrestling business has a tendency to destroy marriages, being on the road actually helped preserve her marriage of 21 years. Although I didn’t share this with Lisa, I could relate: my only divorce came after I finished my overseas deployments, when line-of-duty injuries led to weight gain, which kept me from getting promoted. I guess absence can make the heart grow fonder.
There was another aspect I could relate to in Lisa’s life: handling cadavers. As part of my military training, my chaplain classes went to the local medical college. Getting comfortable around partially dissected corpses was supposed to make us more comfortable leading funerals and memorial services. According to her Asian mother, Lisa was supposed to become a doctor. When she started medical school, she worked as a tech removing donated organs from those who had passed away too soon. The stress of such a profession drove her to become, as she described it, “addicted to exercise.” Making fitness her profession didn’t always pay the bills, but it did add muscle, so much of it that when Lisa met Chyna, Chyna suggested she apply to the World Wrestling “Federation” (at the time).
When she started in the WW”F”, she first worked with the Godfather as one of his ho’s. Her parents didn’t even know what a ho was, so explained it to them as someone “who get the crowd worked up”. When asked why she might take a role that many consider demeaning, she drew a parallel to her first in-person tryout, where the trainers purposefully injured her in hopes of her quitting. Every potential insult was met a test of her desire and toughness.
She said she accepted the WWF “madwoman” gimmick Victoria because she recognizes that everyone is a little crazy. Plus, a character like that fit the exaggerated move-set she had developed in the years she worked the Memphis territory, where Lawler required that moves be clearly visible from the farthest seat of its large arena. The Victoria character was a gift from booking agent Fit Finlay. Plus, that character was much more interesting to Lisa than the valley girl persona Creative had originally come up for her, just because she was from California. She wasn’t even blond!
When she worked heel, she gained inspiration from her school bullies. She was always nervous before a match, and she welcomed that feeling as a sign she was taking the match seriously. That nervous nausea changed when the first line of her music hit; she would put on her game face and pass through the entrance curtain.
At her panel, I got to ask why she doesn’t wear a knee brace outside the ring to support her torn ACL. She called me by name, remembering our earlier autograph, and shared that her injury came from a failed entrance into the ring. She said her knee still gives her pain in cold weather, but that she has a strong frame and has so far avoided surgery.
She remains grateful to fans; at an airport when she sees someone in a wrestling t-shirt, she will at least give the wearer recognition with a head nod “what’s up”. She was also happy with the event, its organizers, and the military personnel volunteers who had served as her security and handlers.
Some may be disappointed that she wasn’t given more positive characters to portray. Others may have wanted more of her feuds pushed. I would have liked for her to have had more title runs, but I now realize that would have been selfish on my part. She got out of performing without major injury in body or spirit, and that makes Lisa a true champion.
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