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On this past RAW, the all-important RAW before Wrestlemania,Triple H delivered a promo I could tell he didn’t believe in. It was a promo in which he tried to do the job, in the classical jabroni sense—he said things he knew couldn’t sell in a desperate attempt to save Wrestlemania and put over Roman Reigns, one of the most embattled babyfaces in wrestling history. But even after that awkward display, we shouldn’t forget that this unremarkable jobber speech on Monday came at the end of an historic series of manifesto-style promos in which he mustered up all of his bitterness toward the contentious rabble in his audience and laid bare the very nature of his game, if you will. He’s the embodiment of authority and all of this is religion, he’s the one percent and the ruling class, he’s the devil who politics his way into the most influential positions, and we the audience are losers who bumble through our pathetic lives, chasing a pointless delusion of hope. I transcribed two of these notable speeches, here and here, and this third makes a quoth-worthy hat-trick for H here at Spectacle of Excess.
Look, there’s no denying this thing is booked all wrong–it is not Roman Reigns but instead Dean Ambrose who is the quintessential rebel hero to challenge authority. He has been this since since the Shield broke up, even back when they were first trying to sell him as the “Lunatic Fringe”. He was never that, my friends, his organic rebel hero gimmick shone through even when he beat up a CPR dummy and electrocuted himself with a TV monitor. So Ambrose was finally able to blossom into his own authentic self when he got thrown in as a temporary roadblock on the road to Wrestlemania, in this ever so awkward attempt to force some of Ambrose’s cool to rub off on Reigns. I await Wrestlemania 32 with a pit in my stomach about HHH vs. Reigns–I just cannot foresee a positive outcome. But I’m making the choice to see past the booking and deeply appreciate this moment of culmination in Triple H’s storied and complex political career:
This past Saturday live on the WWE Network, the whole world watched Roadblock with hope in their eyes, hope that Dean Ambrose was the one to stand up against authority, that Dean Ambrose was the one to stop the tyranny, that Dean Ambrose was the one that could become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then he failed. And I beat Dean Ambrose right in the middle of this ring because like I have always said, the authority alway wins, and ladies and gentlemen, hope is not a strategy. Hope is a dangerous commodity, but after all, hope is how all of you live your lives right? That’s how it works. It’s why they relate, Steph, it’s why they relate to Dean Ambrose, it’s why they relate to Roman Reigns. Because they hope, they hope that they are gonna be the one, the one that can end the reign of the authority. But that’s how you live your life, isn’t it? Hope. You start out when you get out of high school full of hope that life is gonna be great, but then you get a job, and you get married, and you have kids, and years go by and then it starts, doesn’t it? Then it starts. The hope. You hope, and that’s all you do. You hope you’re gonna get that raise, they hope they’re gonna get that promotion. They hope that they’re gonna succeed, and that things are gonna get better. But it doesn’t happen! And you blame your boss, and you blame the authority above you, you blame everybody but yourself, but you do nothing about it, do you? No, no, you go about your life, day after day, year after year, you do your job and then you go home to your wife, who now hates your guts because you’re a failure. You go home to your kids who don’t respect you because you’re a failure. So you hang out with your friends, right? This guy knows, I can see it in your face. You hang out with your friends, those guys that are standing right next to you right now, and you sit around a table, and you bitch about the authority above you. You complain about your boss, because it’s not your fault. Yeah, those same loser friends that hung out with you in high school that live on the same hope you do, but you do nothing, nah, year after year you go to your job that you hate, putting up with the boss that you hate. At that point your biggest hope is that you win the lotto and maybe things just get better. But it doesn’t, so year after years go by and now thirty years in, maybe they give you a watch, maybe they give you a clock, doesn’t matter, but that part’s over, so now you go home to your apartment, apartment because your wife left you and took the house. The kids don’t come by much anymore because you’re still a loser. And where you find yourself at that point? Sitting in a home somewhere, drooling on yourself, hoping your last bit of hope, and your last bit of hope is that mercifully, mercifully this will all be over soon. That is the way each and every one of you live your life, and tell me it isn’t true. It’s pathetic, is what it is. And the fact is, that is why you love people like Dean Ambrose, because they give you hope, and you love Roman Reigns because you think that Roman is the hope, that Roman Reigns is the hope, that at Wrestlemania he will be the one that will rise up against the authority. That Roman Reigns will be the one to put an end to the tyranny of the authority, that Roman Reigns will be the one to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. But I can tell you right now, absolutely I guarantee it, that just like your lives, he will fail. Roman Reigns will fail, I will beat Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania, because like I have said time and time again, the authority always wins. And ladies and gentlemen…[interrupted for whatever reason by Dolph Ziggler’s entrance music]
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