I’m struggling to read wrestling these past couple weeks. Sure, one week I was out in the sticks without even a viable internet connection, so that threw me off my rhythm. But the more pressing problem is the shite state of affairs in the current threads of WWE’s narrative. I’ve been listening to some podcasts. It’s not just me. I’m feeling stagnant, and the smarks are getting ticked off. We’re all starting to balk about…
Tag: John Cena
I’m back, frazzled by the trappings of civilization, and stunned by the brutality of Summer Slam. I thought surely Cena would at least put up a fight! So, where do we go from here? Who will find Brock Lesnar’s Achilles heel? Somebody has to, don’t they? Otherwise things will get boring pretty quick. A villain who cannot be stopped pretty much kills a story. I still need to catch up on this week’s Raw and…
What are the implications of Cena making his match with Lesnar about defending the entire history of professional wrestling? Is that not a tall order for tween Cena? Donning Hulk’s colors and all? Is perhaps Hulkamania truly immortal? Is he in fact a god to us? Hulk may be the most unique character in wrestling history. Discuss. Brock Lesnar is a scary motherfucker. Discuss. What Shakespeare play will Cena’s battle with Brock Lesnar be? Will…
I couldn’t help but feel that the veil of kayfabe was wavering as John Cena railed against Paul Heyman on RAW Monday night. There was a tremble and a fervor in Cena’s voice as he laid out his grievances: he shows up and works hard every day even if he doesn’t feel like it because he “loves this place,” and where’s the respect? We may have been seeing real emotion there, his frustration as he…
John Cena had this to say on Twitter just now: You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villian.True or not I am and have always been me.Thru crisis or triumph #nevergiveup — John Cena (@JohnCena) July 22, 2014 I can see he recognizes his own hero problem, which I have written so much about. To be a heel or not to be a heel, that is the question! And earlier,…
Imagine the narrative complexity of the fatal fourway that awaits us at Battlground on Sunday. Any man can pin any man and become the champion. At first it will start more or less as two against two. But then it will start to break down, there will have to be a parallel storyline outside the ring. Cain will most likely turn on Randy Orton, that much has been telegraphed. There will be battles within battles.…
A markish confession: the biggest reason I’ll never turn on John Cena is his entrance music. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a vaguely ethnic-sounding intro with a hook featuring horns. The trilling guy who says something in Spanish I can’t quite catch is pretty rousing as well. So the trilling guy and the horns do their thing, and I’m all primed to be excited about whoever comes out on stage. I will…
I see a rather interesting place that this could go — John Cena finds himself in a quandary. He will somehow be in a position “to play the role of hero while everything around him burns,” as Bray Wyatt described him, and what will be burning is Roman Reigns. Will he sacrifice the belt or let Roman Reigns burn? The answer to this question will determine the next step for his character. If he doesn’t…
Though of course I was cheering for Roman Reigns, I’ve decided I do support a John Cena championship at this time. I wholeheartedly support the tweening of John Cena. This is rather unique — Hulk Hogan, if you will remember, turned heel when his fans were getting sick of him. And his whole complaint, if I remember correctly, was that his fans were turning on him, so screw them. John Cena, on the other hand,…