Tag: John Cena

August 19, 2015 /

I’m thinking about writing a longer piece about the genre of contract signings in wrestling. Really, I never would have thought the signing of contracts could be such a compelling thing to watch, but I perk up every time I hear there’s going to be one. They represent the tension between WWE’s carny and corporate elements so perfectly: two employees meet in a ring-turned-boardroom to sign a legally binding document to fight for a prize,…

July 22, 2015 /

I’ve been working on keeping my cool. Not letting disappointments bring me crashing down, maintaining a consistent vibe when everything goes into a tailspin. I also caught a spoiler that Kevin Owens lost to John Cena as I was running about an hour behind in my watching of Battleground, so I was prepared for the unfortunate eventuality. Kevin Owens’ #1 fangirl here didn’t riot when Cena won, because I’m practicing non-attachment, rising above the fray,…

June 3, 2015 /

Wow, things are fairly groundbreaking, even game-changing, in the feud raging between Kevin Owens and John Cena. This stuff gives me chills! I am working on an editorial about the Cena/Owens duality for Tim Kail to read on his Work of Wrestling podcast, but I need to transcribe these promos to work from so I’m sharing them here. Notice how literary these words are when you see them in print. Kevin Owens speaks in precise,…

May 18, 2015 /

UPDATE! I was totally wrong here! Somebody who speaks Bulgarian corrected me on Twitter, check it out: @AndreaGregovich when he screams “aaa predavam sa”  this means i qiur — Mario (@bloodicha1) May 18, 2015 So thank you to Mario for setting me straight on the words that I struggled with (predavam sa), and I owe Lana an apology. But now the match seems even more hokey. This means Rusev forgot how to speak English, he…

May 5, 2015 /

Sami Zayn’s shoulder injury will be for us one of those memorable heartbreaking moments in WWE history. Perhaps the best everyman underdog of all time, on an iconic RAW debut against John Cena (that very much echoed Cena’s own iconic debut against Kurt Angle a decade ago), dislocated his shoulder before he even entered the ring as he swung his arms to rouse the crowd. He wrestled the entire excellent match on a bum shoulder…

April 23, 2015 /

Hello friends! I’m still trying to get a few things finished before I start blogging like a fool again, but RAW this week was so chock full of memorable promos I’m  compelled to transcribe as many as I can over the next few days. On the topic of a compelling RAW, have you noticed that at this stage in the monthly pay-per-view storyline cycle, there is almost always a compelling RAW? What is it about…

February 10, 2015 /

Is anybody doing analytics on the number of cell phone lighter apps people are putting up for Bray Wyatt? Some nights it’s stunning. Doesn’t this count for something? Bray Wyatt is amazing. Can we set him up on some kind of sensible narrative trajectory? Couldn’t he aim toward a Jake the Snake-style babyface run? I remember the Jake the Snake of my junior high years was the same exact crazy dark madman as babyface or…

January 1, 2015 /

This final RAW of 2014 was fascinating, despite being pretty low key until the hostage situation at the end. There were no celebrations of Hulk Hogan or a holiday or a charity, just well-composed rising action and character development. The episode functioned as something of an airing of grievances, as is seasonally appropriate and a welcome change from the Christmas shenanigans of the previous week and the tired cliches of overall holiday season. It was…

December 18, 2014 /

I have precious little to say about TLC which is a shame, because I think so fondly of the days when tables, ladders, and chairs meant something huge. A ladder match used to fill me with fearful excitement, and the crunch of a split table would stir in me a primal thrill. I used to try to write poetry about the iconography of hardcore, hardcore being a kind of revolution, a period of anarchy in…

December 12, 2014 /

Well, you know. It was the Slammies and all, and there’s nothing like an awards show to dampen my writerly spirits. Plus, I’m a little behind still — I need to listen to the Vince McMahon podcast, but I first need to dig up my password so I can renew my subscription to then network, which recently expired. I almost don’t want to, considering how much I hate looking up passwords, as well as the…