Quoth Dolph Ziggler and The Miz (Smackdown 9-27-16)

Dolph Ziggler cut a devastating promo on Smackdown this week, a monologue that made me cringe with guilt, that indicted us all for our callous indifference toward the hardworking eighties gimmick pretty boy. Ziggler got raw and real, characterizing wrestling as what it is in its ugliest form: a strange addiction, a pursuit that’s hard to quit, even when it’s become unhealthy and unproductive. His voice was unstable and veering into higher octaves as he appeared to have a legitimate breakdown over this thing he loves that doesn’t love him back.

Why has it been so hard for us appreciate Dolph Ziggler? He’s a tremendous wrestler, articulate on the mike, and powerfully charismatic. I do know some people have seen this all along, and they are the kinder souls among us. Most of us have simply become too cynical for Ziggler’s earnest heart, even though he’s a hell of a guy who always gives 100% and can bring it when it matters. Remember when he played the role of comeback kid at Survivor Series a couple years ago, when Cena and the rest of his team completely dropped the ball? Ziggler has offered us so much, and we’ve given him so little in return. I for one have Ziggler’s back from now on (even though the devil on my other shoulder wants Miz to humiliate his pretty boy ass).

It’s really Ziggler who is quoth-worthy here, but it’s the Miz’s skyrocketing stock prices that are allowing him to leap out into the spotlight and make this “last stand” for his career. Miz is also dragging crusty retiree Daniel Bryan into new relevance, which Ryan and I will be discussing in our next post.

The Miz:

This is my hero’s welcome? Because I’m the only hero in Cleveland. Long before this city was so desperate for a title that you opened your arms to a traitor like LeBron James, I was winning the main event at Wrestlemania as your WWE champion. And I am happy to celebrate day 176 of the Miz’s never-ending intercontinental championship world tour, in front of the only decent people in this entire arena, my parents. Mom, dad, please stand. Give it up for my parents, Cleveland! My wife just informed me that Dolph Ziggler’s parents are actually here tonight as well. Mr. & Mrs. Ziggler, this must be really hard for you, because you two created a world class elite-level loser.

[Dolph Ziggler’s entrance music, Dolph Ziggler enters]

I’m done here, because I imagine you came out here to go, Miz, give me one more match, one more match, one more match. And the answer is no, Dolph. Because the fact is you have nothing that matters, nothing that matters. Maybe this ring matters to you, maybe this crowd matters to you, but everything else is done for you. You have nothing. So unless you’re gonna give up your career? Then I have nothing to say to you. I’m gonna go celebrate in Hollywood. See you around, kid. [To Maryse] Come on, babe.

Dolph Ziggler:

You’re right, man. This, this is all I have. This couple minutes a night, three hundred nights a year. This is my everything, I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone when they know that I live for this. This, this is what I love! But you know what, sometimes things you love don’t always love you back. And you can give, and you can give, and you can give, and you can give, and you can give, and you can give, and sometimes you get nothing in return. You get nothing! And you have friends, and family, and fans coming up and telling you why do you still do it? Why are you still here? Why do you subject yourself to this every night? It’s because I can’t stop. I can’t! It’s a sickness, I can’t stop! And maybe my career didn’t always turn out the way I thought it would, you know? I thought it would have been better. I thought I earned something. I thought I would be a bigger star. But you know what, I just can’t stop myself. I can’t. But you, you put that title up one more time. Listen to me Miz! Put that title up one more time, and I’ll put up my entire career.


Wait a second. Did you just say that you’ll put up your entire career? Your entire… your entire career! And I’m not talking about when I beat you, you go to RAW or NXT, you take a thirty day sabbatical, you are done and out of WWE because of me.  Dolph Ziggler: Your title, my career. I either walk out champion, or I’m done. Either way, either way I’ll be out of my misery. In two weeks, No Mercy. Your career vs. my title. And if you’re not willing to hang up your career, I’ll hang it up for you.

Image Credit: wwe.com

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