Kevin Owens brightened the heck out of Smackdown this week with a reiteration of his previous RAW promo. John Cena is delusional and corrupting the minds of children around the world! It’s no secret I’ve been giddy about Owens since that first match with CJ Parker, so his epic deconstruction of John Cena fills my heart with joy and gives me great hope for the future. Bask in his words of Forgotten Man truth:
You will notice that I don’t need Michael Cole to introduce me this week because after last Sunday, you all know who I am. I am the NXT champion Kevin Owens. I’m the guy who beat John Cena in his very first match in WWE. And I’m also the guy who’s going to do the exact same thing in our rematch at Money In The Bank. Now you all know who I am, everyone knows what I’m about, except, that is, for John Cena. See, John Cena seems to think that I’m someone else. John Cena seems to think that I’m some kid with a John Cena hat and a John Cena t-shirt on, who hangs on every word he says, much like my own son does. But he’s seven years old. And he doesn’t know any better. You know, I stood in the ring Monday night and I listened to John Cena go on and on and on, and I looked into his eyes, and I heard the emotion in his voice, and I realized something. John Cena is completely delusional. For years I though it was an act, and a pretty good one at that, but still just an act, but no, he actually believes this nonsense. And it doesn’t end there. You wanna talk about John Cena being delusional, he stood out here and said that I am not a real man. Well I simply can no longer let my son be influenced by somebody who is so out of touch with reality. Hustle Loyalty Respect? Never Give Up? John, that’s not how it works in the real world! This Happily Ever After fairy tale that you’ve been feeding kids around the world for the last ten years is absolute garbage! Someone needs to put an end to the corruption of our children’s minds by John Cena, and I will gladly be the one to step up and do just that in our rematch at Money In The Bank. I’m gonna show the world what a real champion, a real role model, and more importantly a real man, is, which brings me to tonight, and the NXT Title Open Challenge. If there’s anyone in that locker room who thinks they have what it takes to beat the man who beat the man who beat John Cena on his first night and who’s going to do it again at Money In The Bank, well, the champ is here! And the NXT Title starts… well, I’m not wearing a watch, so whatever. You want some, come get some!
How do you think this is going to end, though? I doubt Vinnie Mac is going to let Owens go over and shatter a character that he’s been banking on for the better part of a decade, but I’m curious to how you think this angle should come to a close.
I know, I know, it could still go awry. I do have some anxiety about the future of Kevin Owens, but I’m hoping for the best. I don’t really know what would be best for Cena after this, but a few months ago I did hear the idea floated through “wrestling journalism” that Cena was being considered for some kind of general manager position. Imagine that — Cena in the Kane spot! He could be his same self, and would piss off some people and please other people. Perhaps Triple H could become a bit more sympathetic, NXT Triple H, and the authority can mature into something not overtly, stupidly evil.
It was an unsubstantiated rumor but a good idea. And he could totally torment Kevin Owens from that position.