On the Heel Cred of CJ Parker

It occurs to me that CJ Parker is actually an impressive character. In the era of monster douchebag asshole heels like Seth Rollins and creepy greasy antihero heels like Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper, good on this kid for getting over as a loathsome pussy hippie liberal jobber heel. Sorry to be crude, but I can’t think of a better way to describe CJ Parker. And while he gets his ass kicked every time, he is a distinctive character who we love to hate. Am I to believe that this guy is really a Berkeley dropout type who took up professional wrestling in his time off from Occupy protests? (No offense, of course, to hippie liberal Berkeley dropouts and Occupy protesters. It’s not about you, it’s about our stereotype of you.) Or what, is he infiltrating wrestling to expose it like it’s a poultry plant or something? Of course not. It’s his character who holds heart-wrenchingly pathetic signs like “You Can Break My Sign But You’ll Never Break My Spirit,” not the guy himself. But don’t you more or less think about him as a person with the same disdain you think about his character? See? This guy has totally gotten over as the type he is. And I respect that. It’s difficult to be an annoying prissy underdog heel and really sell it, and it’s good that this type exists in wrestling so that wrestling can be a microcosm of the world with all character types represented for us to love or loathe.

He’s also highly literary: he draws attention to the use of signs in WWE. We should watch, going forth, if his signs begin to interact with the signs of the audience.


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